What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why did my crush like me for only two days in a row?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

We white women don't like white men. Do you have any issue with that?

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Why do creationists ask for proof of evolution and then ignore the answers?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”